American Horror Story
The Replacements!

Episode Report Card
Joe R: N/A | 137 USERS: A
Where Everyone Would Love to Drown

Back at the school, Igor brings in Joan Ramsey to see Fiona. Fiona who is already well into her scotch and smoking her cigarette and wearing her black dress, so the contrast is readily available. Joan starts off nicely enough, albeit in that condescending Christian way where she presents a Bible as an ice-breaking gift, something she says she does everywhere she goes. She then says she's not sure whether this place is a "school or a rehab facility or what" but she caught two of Fiona's girls trespassing on her property. Which is a creative interpretation of it, as is her assessment that Madison was dressed "so scandalously, I fear for the long-term effects on my boy." I'll bet. Fiona gets in a dig about Christians and their sexual hypocrisy ("behind closed doors, you're the biggest perverts of them all"). Joan tells Fiona that Madison threw a knife at her head (semi-true) and then set her curtains on fire (definitely true). At this last bit, Fiona can't help but look stricken. Madison has manifested a new power. Speak of the devil in a blue dress, here's Madison right now to taunt about her son's pent-up sexual chemistry. "One mention of the word 'panties' and he'd jizz his jeans." Joan doesn't have to subject herself to Fiona's drunken mockery nor Madison's rampant sluttaceousness. She orders both women to stay away from her, "in Jesus' name."

Once Joan is gone, Fiona continues to stare at Madison. She raises her cigarette and asks Madison, still clear across the room, for a light. After a moment, her cig is lit, and Madison is kind of girlishly giggling about her unexpected new power. Like a teacher's pet moment. She has no idea why this would be a portentous development, nor how it has any bearing on the Supremacy. But it sure looks like Madison is our ascendant Supreme. Which if course makes Fiona very troubled indeed, particularly since her just-revealed physical deterioration mirrors that of Anna-Lee when she was ascending. She beckons Madison to come over and talk.

Kyle's back in his old bed, lying down but not sleeping. His mom peeks into the room and sets down next to him. She can't believe he's back, but she's somewhat muted about it. "I nearly died from missing you, baby," she says. But something troubles her. It was earlier, when he was showering. Thankfully, we get flashback evidence of this momentous occasion. Kyle and the scars criss-crossing his body. And also, for some reason, a nipple. Sure. We see Mama Kyle open the shower curtain quite inappropriately, and Kyle's startled grunt. But it's Mama Kyle who looks most troubled. As she tells her son in his bed, "You're a different person. Your body. You look like someone else. I don't understand what's happening." That's reasonable, right? A mother would know what her son looks like, right? From the neck down? This is all totally normal and above-board and NOPE, okay, now Mama Kyle is getting into bed with him and kissing him on the lips and WHOA okay now her hand is down his pants, while Kyle silently looks away and cries. Damn it.

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American Horror Story




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