American Horror Story
The Dead

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: B | 75 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Dead

Here we go with Fiona and the pills again. More of her hair falls out, and she stumbles, steadies herself, and reaches for an electric shaver. She's about to go G.I. Jane on that shit, but then the Axeman's sexy saxophone theme starts up in her head and she gets her sexy back. Looks like she's found a use for the Axeman. That makes one of us.

Zoe showers after her kill, and there's a visual allusion to Carrie with the blood washing down the shower drain which I'm pretty sure was intentional. Madison interrupts her and accuses her of being jealous of her having hot zombie sex with Kyle, and true to form, Madison seems a little too pleased with herself over both the sex and torturing Zoe with it. There is something perfectly mean girl in the ways she reveals her insecurities, isn't there? Zoe plays it off, saying she couldn't be with Kyle anyway because of her deadly vagina, and Madison offers that actually, since he's already dead anyway, he's probably the only person she could be with. Once you're undead, not even a Supreme death ray vagina can kill you, apparently. I'm having trouble grappling with the nonsense logic here. Madison says Kyle is the only thing that makes her feel things since she came back from the dead, and she's not giving him up. But hey, we can share him! Zoe is all "yeah right" about that idea, but Madison takes her hand and leads her to the bedroom, where Kyle is waiting for them on the bed. Madison sits down next to him and they both reach their clammy undead hands out for her. Zoe's towel drops to the ground, and she gets into bed with two undead people for a threesome.

WHAT. That was some dumb shock value shit Nip/Tuck would do. Weird sex stuff only works if it serves a purpose that makes some sense. This didn't do either. Zoe's sexual coming of age was sufficiently represented by all her unharnessed power suddenly appearing and terrifying everyone. There's no discernible reason to put Madison's shit on her, and it's out of character for Zoe to accept it. And as for Kyle, Madison is using him a lot like his mother did, which adds another layer of awful to all of this. Zombies can't give consent! But really, the undead threesome doesn't deserve a lot of analysis. It was dumb. It was just a dumb writing mistake that happened, and hopefully we don't have to watch it happen again.

The Axeman is finishing his stupid saxophone set at a packed club, to rousing applause. Lunatics. Fiona is waiting for him backstage, ready to get more of her groove back. She offers to buy him a drink, and he looks her up and down in a lecherous manner and accepts. Fiona is practically bouncing off the walls high on the male gaze, so I'd say they are officially back on, y'all. Let's come up with a couple name for them! Axiona? Fionaxe? FAXEMAN?

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American Horror Story

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