Ally McBeal
Over The Rainbow

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Over The Rainbow

Previously, on Ally McBeal, there were lots of scenes involving touching and saliva. It's good that they reminded us about all the sex stuff, because otherwise I'd have been totally lost this episode. They also remind us that Georgia has been nothing but a sad doormat so far this season.

It's night and someone is sprinkling soap flakes or dish water in front of the camera lens. There's a girl looking out the law-firm window. I already know it's "Young Ally." Please don't start with me, people. I'm begging you. Vonda sings about rainbow alleys as Young Ally morphs into Skag Ally. Billy walks in and says, "Working late, huh?" with this huge smile on his face like he's caught her ice-cubing her blouse or something. Ally didn't bring an umbrella so she was, you know, "waiting for it" -- er, uh, waiting for the rain to stop. The Freudian slips are getting way stale. They need to give it up. Ally's hair has been straightened and it doesn't look attractive in the slightest but at least it's better than the usual tangled nest. Billy's smirking and jabbering about Ally's continual search for "him." Oh, but now she's waiting for "it" instead. What, is the car wash about to open? Ally tells Billy he's become ridiculous with the bleach and the Billy Girls, causing him to finally stop smiling like a Barbie with toddler-styled hair. She asks if he's angry with Georgia. They talk and talk about the same old same. I really do think the two of them should get married and then strand themselves on a desert island. Maybe they could work a three-way with John. Those are the only people in the Ally McBealsphere who enjoy philosophizing about their own boring lives twenty-four-seven. For the sake of giving myself more rank-fodder later in this recap, I'll tell you something Billy says. He says that their co-workers have lives to go home to each night. He and Ally are the only ones who don't. Then he tells her that she's addicted to the elevator's ding because she's hoping that what comes out of it will be her life. Haw! It's too bad that the best, bitchiest lines on this program are always thrown out unprovoked and are thereby spoiled. Ally denies it. The elevator dings and of COURSE she gives herself whiplash looking to see who's there. It's some guy who's supposed to be what passes for good-looking for the men on this show. This guy is saying he knew someone was in the office and he had to go up and see. Ally's trying to give him the old meet-me-in-the-car-wash stare, but I think he's too distracted by the close-up of the bones in her nose to notice. She tells him her full name and asks for his. He says it's "Pross." Ally goes, "Pross! Pross what?" in her best "I will suck the chrome off your trailer-hitch" manner. He says "Process Server." D'oh! He has a summons for the firm because Georgia is suing Fish and Cage and Associates for the break-up of her marriage. I start to repress a cackle, but then I just go with the flow.

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Ally McBeal




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