Ally McBeal
Just Friends

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Just Friends

We open with Ally sitting at her desk, hearing Vonda ruin The Who's Tommy. She looks up to see who's singing on her ceiling, but she doesn't see anyone, despite Vonda's cry to be seen, heard and touched. Lots of looks to the left and right until she walks out of her office wearing enormous blue oven mitts. She runs into John at the elevator. They discuss working late. John mentions he's been backed up lately. "Remnants?" Ally asks, as if she's been there. John clarifies that he's got a lot of work backed up. Vonda sings again, and Ally asks John to repeat himself. He says he didn't say anything. He asks her what's wrong. She stammers that nothing is wrong. John begins talking about working late and inevitably turning into his father. He assumes that he's talking to his friend who listens to him, but Ally is hallucinating another song and fantasizing about John. He interrupts her fantasy to ask how come they've never gotten together. "How is it you and I can stand right in front of each other's noses every day and not see what's right in front of each other's noses?" Ally's song continues as the elevator arrives. They drop their suitcases and start kissing. Quick clips of John and Ally falling into the elevator in ecstasy. Ally jumps out of bed, sprung from her sex dream. She pants for a few seconds and then rolls over. Renee is in the bed. Ally makes some noises and wiggles the bed to wake up Renee. Renee asks what Ally is doing in her bed. Ally explains that she had an "epiphany" about John. This also causes her to whisper as if they aren't supposed to be making any noise upstairs or Dad is going to ground them. She tells Renee that she realizes the John is "the one." Renee hides under the covers and makes a nose whistle sound. Cue Vonda singing something more in her repertoire.

Yikes. Stephen Baldwin is doing M&M commercials, and letting candy tell him he's a sucky actor. That's when you've hit bottom.

Ally walks into her office wearing her giant fuzzy oven mitts and her big coat. She bumps into Elaine who is wearing a tiny strappy top with no bra. What season is it? Elaine tells Ally that John was looking for her. This causes Ally to stammer about wondering what he could have wanted or what he was wearing. Richard walks up to Ally and tells her he might need her to second chair for him on a new case. Cue the Palmer music. Billy walks in with his pussy...I'm sorry, posse of girlies. "Is he still doing that?" Ally says in unison with everyone watching the episode. "I like it," Elaine purrs. Richard tells the girls to "stay" and they decompress and lower to the ground. Ally comments incredulously that the girls "heel and they stay." Richard asks what else they do but everyone tells him to shut up. Billy has a big case with "Bell Computers." Ally asks if the guy from "Bell" is "another Neanderthal who responds to bimbos." Richard tries to get the fembots to see him. The lights are on but they're not home. Billy tells Ally that this is "a look." He tells her that he's going to anything it takes to win this client. "Because," Ally sneers, and then punches her oven mitts together and lip-syncs to my most hated of the Current Ally McBeal Season Songs: "There's a new man in town." She lip-syncs it all "saucy." Billy gives her the finger gun and says, "Exactly." He walks off. Ally spins around and approaches John. "You want me?" she asks. John says he was looking for something, but he found it. Ally stands too close and acts too interested in his life. She asks how he's doing. He asks if she's dying. She asks if that's what people think if she takes an interest in other people's lives. John says yes. Ally says she was just asking about her "buddy." John asks if she's sick. Ally says to forget it, and she walks off.

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Ally McBeal




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