Ally McBeal
Judge Ling

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | 1 USERS: A+
Judge Ling

Everyone's at the bar. Glenn is belting out a tune, and wearing a baseball hat backwards. As much as the sight of a college-y guy in a backwards baseball hat irritates me, I feel compelled to say, wooo! Here, we see some of the old guard/new guard opposition in action -- or, it's raining anvils. John expresses his concern, because Ally, JennyAlly, and Glenn are out carousing when they have deposition the next day: "Do you think opposing counsel is out celebrating? What are you celebrating, anyway?" Jenny, bless her, guesses, "It's nighttime?" Seriously. And opposing counsel is there, in the form of Hot Guy Ray, who's also backwards-baseball-hatted. He tips his cigar in John's drink, then asks Ally out, then tips ash in her drink, then hits on Ling. Woo! These are the par-ty days! The difference between what JennyAlly and Glenn are doing, and what Fish and Ling are doing is HAVING FUN. Young people are going for it. Old people, farting dust. Not that Ling, John, and Fish are so old. But why go to a bar if you're going to poop on other people's party? But poop John must, and poop he does. He sputters and asks who Ray is; JennyAlly is all, "You like him" to Ally, who protests. John sputters some more, Ally says she's not going to date him, Ray hits on Nelle, JennyAlly says she knows Ally really wants Glenn, and just as Ally hollers that she does not want to sleep with Glenn, the music stops and everyone in the joint hears her yell that she doesn't want to sleep with Glenn. Everyone got that? Not! Sleep! With! Glenn! Yelled loud! How something!

Credits. Vonda's been down down down this roooooad...

Hey, a street scene of Boston! Ally's at her therapist's office, reliving her (embarrassing? humilating? mortifying? mollifying?) experience of yelling in the bar that she didn't want to sleep with Glenn, and everyone hearing her. I'm thinking of a famous quote -- something about protesting too much? Shakespeare? But back to the facts. Ally says she meant it, it's true -- she didn't want and doesn't want to sleep with Glenn. El Shrinkador takes Ally's "tapered hand," and quotes to her not Shakespeare, but the Archies: "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy." He says that Ally does want that "gumdrop" that is Glenn "stuck in her teeth." Okay, then. If the doctor says it, it must be true. Or is that wine? Hey, that gives me an idea.

Ling and Nelle are walking, wearing fabulous winter coats. Ling's is red, a double-breasted military coat, with rhinestone buttons and square belt buckle. Nell's is a cream trench with black piping, and a long knotted black belt. Love them! Then, a blind man taps into Ling with his cane, earning himself a tongue-lashing. Those canes are not weapons, Ling yells! Then, she bumps into a lady with a baby. Two babies, in fact. Twins. Double strollers, woo! The lady says she was looking at her babies, not the sidewalk. Ling says that the babies are cute, but she and Nelle, in unison, make the finger-gagging gesture. Gag, gag. The lady looks at her offspring again, and Ling chirps, "Makes you just want to quit the law and breed! Ling Woo, birth mother." Gag, gag, and the lawyers are out of there.

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Ally McBeal




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