Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | Grade It Now!
Do We Share the Same McDNA?

Previously on Ally McBeal: Ally found out she has a daughter. Richard made Ally partner. She looked at the books and said Richard has too much overhead. Richard offered Dame Edna a job. Because he needs someone good around (and there is no one left). Maddie asked if Ally is "ready for this," and Ally made a speech about spending lots of money on therapists trying to figure out which guy is right and the guy being a ten-year-old girl, and Ally's home. This is when I realized that David E. Kelley is really a total genius who sees directly into my soul, makes a little picture with lights and sound, and puts it on television each week for all to see. Why have I been dissing him all this time? The show just gets better and better with each moment. I'm an idiot.

Lights up on soft music and a fireplace; Ally is curled up next to it with a book. Seriously. How jealous am I right now? There's a knock on the door, and Ally opens it to a bright, chipper woman who tells Ally that her "eggs are completely safe," and were never harvested, and pointing out Madison's "rightful parents." Ally punches her in the nose. Then, she snaps awake in bed because it was just a dream, not a hallucination, and goes to cuddle with Maddie. Maddie lets her. Oh my god, if Maddie were a dog or a guy named Ben, this could be me. I'm having one of those ding moments when all is right in the universe that happens during moments when you eat ice cream and see fluffy bunnies and wiggly puppies and watch this wonderful, wonderful program. Om.

Oh my god, special appearance by Shirley Knight? Awesome.

Richard is taking Dame Edna to court with him, because she's "familiar with the files," and would probably be better than an actual lawyer would be. She and Ray cross paths, and she salaciously relays that Ray is "looking well." Harassment! Not. Richard yanks Dame Edna onto the elevator, interrupting her non-tête-à-tête with El Boy De Frat. She says there's no need to yank her like that, and that yanking is "a battery." Hoo, boy.

So, an old lady knocks on Ally's door, then asks who Ally is when she opens the door. Ally stammers, bites her hair, and answers that's she's, um, Ally McBeal. Then she asks, "Who-who-who are YOOUU?" It's some lady who knew Vincent, the guy who lived in the house before Ally "bought it in probate." Vincent is dead, yo. This old lady was "the love of his life," and she looks all wistful when she says it. Of course, Ally invites the old lady in to Ally can hear her sad, sad story. It's more "dramatic" than just closing the door.

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Ally McBeal




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