Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
The Well

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 161 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
We're Sending Our Love Down The Well

"Up" in the tree, Simmons concludes that whatever was inside was definitely not of Earth, although it wasn't Chitauri, either. It was Asgardian, according to Fitz's spectrographic analysis. Simmons then realizes that an imprint of the object is visible, so she scans the tree in order to reconstruct a 3-D image of it. (And then I just laugh and laugh as the pearl-clutching ranger cries to Coulson that the forest is a protected reserve. "Who do they think they are?" Now ask if they were raised by wolves!). Skye then cuts in from the plane with news, and May sends him a TV report about rioting in Oslo led by the guy and girl. WHY WOULD THEY DO SUCH A THING? Oh his phone, Coulson shows Ward the words "WE ARE GODS" in burning letters on the street, so I guess these guys are as bad at not answering comically distraught rhetorical questions as I am.

On the plane, Ward has ID'ed the couple as "Jakob Nystrom" and "Petra Larsen," leaders of, as I mentioned in the recaplet, a "Norse paganist hate group" (NPHG from here on out). Skye explains that the name refers to anyone obsessed with stories of Asgard, and she's pretty knowledgeable for someone who might for all we know have mispronounced "Asgard" as recently as ten minutes ago. Ward picks up a model recreation of the staff as Fitz points out what I mentioned earlier, that being that it's only a piece of the full thing, and Ward adds that "Sid and Nancy" may be looking for a complete set. I'm not sure I believe that's the reference Ward would go with or really even have at his fingertips, but it fits well enough so I'll live with it.

Skye suggests Coulson give Thor a call to translate the carvings on the thing, but Coulson replies that Fury told him Thor is "off the grid," like pretending that Thor is someone this show will ever get to turn up is insulting, and besides, is there no one else in Asgard that could help them out and WHAT GRID? I mean, it may seem like a small thing, but this episode is billed as a tie-in, and the best you can come up with to cover the fact that no Avenger's agent is going to let him get within a million miles of this show is a reason that's absolutely meaningless in context? I'm far from a Marvel diehard, but I can't imagine anyone who heard how this episode was advertised didn't find it a total disappointment. They couldn't conjure up a Dark Elf? Ward points out Nystrom and Larsen found a needle in a haystack, so it's likely they had some help, and Skye wonders if the staff called to them by magic. She's met by predictable harrumphing, but Coulson says that when they first found the hammer, they consulted a leading expert on Norse mythology "Professor Elliot Randolph." Having seen the first movie recently as well, I can pretty assuredly say that that did not happen, but it's nice of them to give it its due by faking a tie-in to it as well.

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Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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