Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
0-8-4

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 248 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Full Of Sound And Fury, Signifying Something You'll Never Hear The End Of

With the rebels on their tail, the S.H.I.E.L.D. and Peruvian Military Police (PMP) vehicles head for the airstrip, and Fitz won't shut up about the potential instability of the artifact but is thankfully shouted down by pretty much everyone else. Having triggered the ramp remotely, May drives straight into the plane, whereupon Ward lays down some covering fire so Coulson and Camilla's group can get out of their vehicle and onto the aircraft. Once they're all safe on board, Ward turns to Fitz and is like, now what were you babbling about, so Fitz replies that the device is fueled by Tesseract technology (MS Word does not recognize "tesseract," and Madeleine L'Engle would be so disappointed) and contains lethal amounts of gamma radiation, and when Ward asks if that means it's nuclear, Coulson somberly intones that it's "much, much worse." Everyone takes a theatrical step back -- in the seated Fitz's case, it's a slide -- from the bag containing the artifact, which is cheap and obligatory and as such obviously made me laugh.

After Coulson gets clearance for the S.H.I.E.L.D. plane to travel through restricted airspace, he apologizes to May for putting her in a combat situation, but her only reply is stony silence. For not wanting to see any combat, she's awfully good at it. Back in the lab, Simmons is babbling nervously at Skye about the artifact when Ward and Fitz come in on a wave of bitchery that, apparently, has to do with Fitz's predilection for big words and Ward's dislike of same. Personally, I think Fitz's propensity for SAT vocabulary is far less of a problem than the speed at which it tends to come out of his motormouth when he's agitated, not that Ward isn't still being kind of a meathead about the whole thing. Elsewhere, Coulson checks in with the Peruvian contingent and after one of the few males with a SAG card thanks him for the extraction, Camilla wonders if they shouldn't put down at a nearby PMP airfield to deal with or possibly get a safe distance from, the artifact, but Coulson tells her they're bound for a S.H.I.E.L.D. containment facility.

Another one of Camilla's men asks if there's anything to drink, so Coulson invites them all to make themselves at home upstairs, and he may trust Camilla but if he's going to give Skye the warning about coasters, I'd think he'd do the same to a bunch of sweaty military types. Coulson then heads into the lab to deal with what's become a full-fledged shouting match between Ward and Fitz; he unamusedly asks if there's a problem, and when Ward points out that not everyone on the team was prepared for a firefight, Coulson is like, we got out, didn't lose anyone and saved a few of theirs, so what's the problem? Yeah, I'm starting to think Coulson really isn't too great a leader. Just because you sail a leaky ship safely into the harbor doesn't mean you don't plug the holes afterward. Pretty much agreeing, Skye points out that she was feeling pretty green, but now she's gotten the idea that Ward doesn't know Fitz from Simmons, who by the way have seen even less gunfire than she has. "I'm no rocket scientist, but is this your first mission together?" Simmons is like, it's our second, thank you very much, and while Ward continues to look like the prickly porcupine of Hill's drawings, Skye goes on that with the experience level around there, she might as well be team leader, which could actually be a good idea given the eyebeams of hatred that Fitz and Ward are exchanging. Proving Skye's point, Ward gets right back into it with Fitz and Simmons both, and Coulson testily concedes that Skye's got a point but goes on that Ward can be dubbed in… I mean, "speak" six different languages while Simmons has advanced degrees he doesn't even understand and Fitz is an actual rocket scientist. "So work it out." Is his point that smart people should get along? Because if he really thinks that, I'd like to introduce him to the Internet.

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Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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