7th Heaven
And Thank You

Episode Report Card
And Thank You

The announcer is promising us that this is the "last episode ever of 7th Heaven," and I have to say, I don't think I've ever heard that guy sound so happy. I just hope he's true to his word and this show doesn't get renewed like the rumors are saying it might. I'm going to operate on the assumption that this is truly the last episode of this show and drink a half-beer in proper celebration.

We open on an exterior shot of the CamPound. I almost missed that place during my season away from this show. Almost. RevCam watches two random guys walk through his kitchen and comments to Annie that it looks like the wedding is still on. Either that, or Annie isn't even trying to be secretive about the other men in her life anymore. Annie just says that she doesn't know about the wedding, but the caterers are going through with it whether there is one or not. Great business plan. "So, either way, you don't have to cook!" RevCam says. "Oh, that's right," Annie responds, trying to look happy about the removal of her life's purpose. She urges RevCam not to worry and to take Simon and Rose's recent fight in stride; it's common for couples to fight right before their wedding. Matt and PC, she reminds him, didn't have the easiest of trips to the altar. RevCam asks if she means their real one or the one they "helped to pay for" because Matt and PC lied to them about actually being married. I guess next time, RevCam and Annie, you won't waste the little money you have on the wedding of one of your many, many children and instead let the bride's rich parents pay for it, as tradition dictates. Better yet, you won't raise kids who all want to get married before the age of 10 so badly that they run off with the first person they find.

RevCam changes the subject to his only obedient child, Lucy, and asks Annie if she's heard about the sex of Lucy and Kevin's baby. Aw, crap, they're having another baby? Does the world need that? Apparently, Kevin really wants to have a boy. Therefore, I'm hoping they'll be having a girl. Annie says she's sure Kevin will be happy with a healthy baby, boy or girl. "Of course, but what he really wants is a healthy baby boy," RevCam says condescendingly. And then Annie and RevCam run out of things to talk about and just stare around the room blankly until RevCam starts wondering if Matt and PC are expecting a child based on how they've been avoiding the family lately. I don't think people need an excuse to stay away from these people, but if I was pregnant and my parents were the CamRents, I would sure as hell be as far away from them as possible. RevCam's logic does make sense. "I really doubt that PC would want to be pregnant for her first year of residency," Annie sing-songs. By the way, Annie has had at least two unplanned children. Three, if you count the offspring of her long-forgotten affair with Captain Michaels.

Simon comes down the stairs and announces that his wedding is definitely on, and he apologizes for the fight everyone witnessed last night in another episode I sure as hell won't be watching. Because Annie's obsessed with her children having babies today, she asks Simon if Rose is pregnant. He says she isn't, but that her bitchy attitude yesterday was "hormonal." Which I'm guessing means that Rose got her period, like, last night and that she and Simon are in for some super-fun honeymoon times. Simon tries to convince himself that he wants to be with Rose for the rest of his life, and leaves his parents to stare around the kitchen until RevCam enters flashback mode. He remembers all the way back to the pilot episode when Simon sat in the attic waiting for the dog he prayed for to come. Of all the scenes they had to choose from in ten seasons of this show, this was the best they could come up with? Are they telling us that RevCam thinks of Rose as the dog that Simon always wanted? How rude.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

7th Heaven




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP